We see this in conversation so much these days; people talking over each other fighting to say their piece but never really wanting to know the thoughts, words, and wisdom of the other in the conversation. Have you been in a situation where someone asks you something and you start to reply and the person argues with you and doesn't allow you to respond?
Well, today I will share how we also do this with our self-talk. We say that we have (name any "condition"), ask what we can do about it and immediately say "but" and continue with our self-defeating "whatever" that keeps us tied down to our "name any condition" that was stated above!
In a private Facebook group a member posted a comment which was all about her "name any condition", but in her case, she had multiple "name any condition"s. She rifled them off with such definition and conviction! I asked her if she had a "question" and after a few days she replied, but then went back to her "name any condition" situation which acts to nullify any answer one might give her.
I proceeded "lightly" because I don't know this person, she is not a client of mine, the private Facebook group is not one of mine and even though she asked a question now, did I have her permission to proceed?
Since I put so much time (45 minutes or so) into composing and editing this, I thought my readers here could get some value from this exchange so I'm sharing it. From it came an "assignment" which I know would be beneficial to all who complete it so you may even want to give it a try; just doing something for 7 days might be a great lesson in discipline for some of us!
Here's the exchange:
To all who are part of (Group Name), I salute you! Being part of the winners' group is special; not because the group is special but because you and the people that make up the group are special. When you decided to say "yes" to committing to 30 days of doing something to make a difference in your life and then in others, says so much about you that only few will ever understand. How can you "know" this beyond any doubt? Here's how. When you invited others to join in making the 30 Day Challenge and either they said "no" or didn't respond. That's your answer; they aren't "ready" yet, but you are. You are the small minority that is ready to change yourself and your world. I just wanted to let anyone who has invited others and they've not come on board to not be discouraged but to be the example. You are what makes this group special!
Here's what she posted:
I joined to make the life better but for at least a week I have had nothing but depression. I don't know where to turn. I can help others but return nothing in return. I am just existing right now and don't know what to do or turn I am scared because you m 64 an don't want my life up yet want to be better
Yes Teri I have a question how can I start making everything much better. I do everyday but -----
Ter Scott Awesome! I've had a very full day so I can't reply just now but I will very soon.
Then when I had a “few” minutes, I offered this:
(Name), I’ve given much thought to my reply so I can make it complete - this will be my one and only response to you as this isn’t really the venue to assist you.
Your first post was made up of all “statements”. When we make statements we are “pushing” everything away from us and receive little or no help from that. So, I asked you “Do you have a question?” I’m sure this you think a bit and “broke” the barrage of “statement outgo”. When we ask questions, we then “release” and relax and wait; this can be such a “freeing” event.
Now, if you’ll look at your reply to me, can you see where you answered, “yes”, asked a question and then went back to making “statements” again. I trust that you are open to what I will now share with you. Avoid the need to keep “pushing” by talking about you, your situation and more and more and more …statements. Seek your answer(s) by asking more questions. Then, this is very important, when you ask questions, remain silent …and listen. Now, this is most important so please hear this.
I will not answer your question(s) as I “can” not and others cannot. We can only give you “our” answers; not yours. Your answers will come from your inner self. Ask the question and seek your own answer.
I said that this would be my only response to your message however, I would be glad to check back in with you IF you accept and complete this “assignment”. Do this for the next 7 days and keep track of what you did and record a few of your thoughts about your feelings, the feedback and results. Here’s your task: For the next 7 days, each day do something for someone else. It doesn’t have to be anything big; it can be as small as a smile or compliment or anonymously putting a dollar or five dollar bill under someone’s windshield wiper. As you continue, do “more”. On day 1 do one thing and take note, on day 2 do two things and take note, etc. increasing your “others focused” good deeds until on day 7 you’ve done 7 things having made notes about your feelings and your results. Then report as to how “good” your life is! Whether you take on this opportunity or not, I wish you well. (BTW, my first name is “Ter”; no “i”).
(For any other members who happen to be reading this, I invite you to take on this “assignment” too. It’s a great exercise to make us “others focused” which in turn rewards our own life richly in so many ways.)
Please let me know your comments, questions and any other topics you would like me to chat about below!
............... Ter Scott is THE Life & Legacy Coach™ who speaks, trains and coaches people to live a life and leave a legacy by "living" the Major 8™. www.terscott.com/lifepurpose.
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Enjoy! 
